Saturday, March 5, 2016

Week 9 Update

The past two weeks have been on the crazy end of the spectrum. This weekend is also going to be full of work, but missing two full weeks of posts is not good.

What has been going on? A lot of job anxiety, because I still haven't figured out what I will be doing this summer. Separation anxiety, because in two weeks I leave for spring break and I won't be back at Stanford until September, and I'm going to miss a lot of people.

Time sort of stopped for me at the long weekend three weeks ago. Since then, every successive week has seemed to go by faster and faster. I haven't been writing much; I haven't gone dancing all quarter. Watching the SpaceX launch yesterday was the most time I've spent with some of my friends in a month. Last Sunday, because I needed to get off campus, I took the morning off and went to a local county park. The bike ride there was mostly uphill, so I had to stop a few times because I am weak, but it was worth it.

The world is large and time is long. By the end of the month I will be on a different continent. My sister is about to graduate college.

I want to finish Ubermadchen before I leave. I can do it; the only sections left are Vienna and the epilogue. This weekend my goal is to write the big Vienna scene, and then my exam week I can finish up. Spring Break is my float period.

I've been thinking more and more about the GW/UO world. There's a weird tension between some of the high fantasy adventure elements and the suburban fantasy feeling that I get from the formative writing I did while working out Vin's backstory. I'd like to take a closer look at that.

What coherent thoughts do I have? Not many. I'm thinking through the importance of being vocal or at least public about important things, about how deployment may be a more critical problem than development, about the history behind the world we see or don't see today. About friendship and how it is defined. About the frozen sea, for which books are apparently the axe, and whether or not it is desirable to fall in. I haven't had a drowning dream in a long time.

This song was in my head when I woke up. It seems appropriate.

I've Had this Dream Before - Outline in Color
And I never knew I could be so scared of something so divine

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