Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Building a Path

I left out some stuff that happened in the second half of the week from the Sunday (er, Monday morning) post. Namely, I had a rather intimidating interview with the director for the Germany study abroad internship program, leading to some minor freaking out, resolved mostly by meeting with my very kind advisor and resolved almost completely by a spate of emails on Friday morning that resulted in me shifting around my class schedule one week before the deadline.

But this feels right. I was worried that my schedule this quarter was too weak--not because I want to suffer, although I am susceptible to the kind of academic machismo that leads people to think that 17 units is too few. Rather, I was worried about getting off track with my major and hindering myself from becoming the person I want to be in order to carry out the work I want to do. This rights things. Less theory, more practice. I'm in a BIM class, which feels really good because building software skills is fun. I'm back in the research lab, which also feels really good because I enjoy working with the people, and it's one of my advisor's labs.

So I'm taking 19 units still, but they are the right nineteen.

I also got some good work done over the weekend on Ubermadchen. Marilla is going to pray, because that is what works best for her in terms of getting her mind in order, and then everything explodes (not literally), which means I have two scenes to write to finish up the Graz section. The second of those scenes is the climax of the entire story, so it's going to take a few sessions to work through unless I blow off other commitments this weekend, which is tempting. I don't know if I'll be able to. I'd like to. I've been in this story for two years and getting it closer and closer to the finish is exciting.

(Then I have to plan and write the Vienna section and the epilogue, but that is mostly denouement stuff so it can hang together more loosely, by which I mean I probably won't take a long time planning it out.)

The path forward is clear--not in the sense that it lacks obstacles, but rather, I can see it. What I'm doing now is building skills, creating knowledge, making a story. I think that for me, what is most psychologically rewarding is not so much being productive as constructive. Not so much getting things done as getting things built.

I am laying bricks now.

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Liebe ist Alles - Adoro

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