Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Needing an Adventure

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
-Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing
This post will be nine parts catharsis to one part something else. Hopefully that "something else" is of value to someone other than me.

It's been, I'm sad to say, a useless day. I spent much of it reading a book that, while interesting, causes feelings of intense dissatisfaction. I tend to live vicariously through main characters, and when one is whiny and arrogant and weak-willed...not good.

Add to that a dream full of bad feeling and you get the kind of restlessness that makes me wish I was in the habit of getting into fights.

So what do you do?

You close the book that is draining you and you say, "I will finish reading you later and then I'll banish you from my thoughts forever."

You listen to music without words, since you are the one who needs to speak and you don't want anyone else doing it for you.

You write a whiny blog post because maybe someone else can find something useful in what's messing with your head right now.

(You make plans:

Plans to write right now so the day isn't wasted.

Plans to be particularly considerate toward the person with whom you quarreled in the dream.

Plans to go for a run tomorrow morning and hope you slip into fairyland the way you did yesterday. *

Plans to spend time in the library, reading books you know will not leave you feeling disappointed in yourself.)

You wonder whether you mind being lonely.

You decide you don't mind, and that the people who assume that you should, well-meaning though they are, don't know you half as well as they think.

You reread the notes you took while reading Meditations (not because you usually do that, but because you want to hold on to a book that made you feel as though your mind was expanding).

You think that maybe the day wasn't wasted.
"Today I have got out of all trouble, or rather I have cast out all trouble, for it was not outside, but within."
-Marcus Aurelius
So it goes.

* Remind me to tell you about that.

2 comments:

  1. o_________o tell me about that. That thing. I must know every little aspect of your life *stalkermuch?*

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  2. You, dear friend, are bewildering. I say that with affection.

    So: I found my way to a park I'd never seen or heard of before. There was a dog there, without an owner - it appeared on the other side of the playground without any noise whatsoever and it stared at me and I started to back away and it followed, so I hightailed it out of there. And then there was a house with a well in front of it, and overgrown yards, and when I finally got back to territory I knew I saw a guard troll with exercise gear. Did you know that guard trolls play tennis?

    It was more interesting than unsettling, and definitely worth a couple of prickles of unease. Got ideas for a couple of new stories. Yesindeed. Curiosity sated? ;)

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