Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Ascending

Sometimes, you get a string of bad days; other times, you get one bad day following a lot of pretty good days. When that happens:

  • Breathe.
  • Do something you love but haven't been putting a lot of effort into lately (hello, Euphie).
  • Do your favorite part of the previous thing ("Carry On Wayward Son").
  • Spend time catching up with the people you care about, and don't think too hard about the friends you've lost.
  • Get your work done, so you don't have to deal with guilt tomorrow.
  • Listen to generic happy k-pop (or equivalent).
  • Think, you've had worse days. If possible, make a comparison. 

Like so:
Loneliness
Breathe

-

Loneliness


You are in a dark room.

You are tired
and heartsick
and lonely

You press the heels of your palm
into your eyes
to see colors blossom
flowers in negative
whose perfume cannot chase away the dark

You are sad
you do not want to cry
your shoulders are as stone
you can say to Atlas
that you understand

It is raining outside.

Susurration like the blood rushing in your ears
like the ocean
that is so far you could cry with the distance

You want to be outside
you want to embrace the night and the rain
you want to convince the stars of your existence
presenting your case as much to yourself
as to them

What is this thing, loneliness?

You relax
let the night enfold you
pretend you are the only living thing left
you close your eyes
choice, not circumstance
shuts you into darkness

Or shuts it within.

You hold the night inside you
filling your eyes and your limbs and your lungs

You swallow your loneliness
you feel it trickle like cold water
down your throat, down your chest
it lodges in your sternum
in your stomach, your liver
most of all
everywhere

You had better get used to it.

(Written 10/11/11)

breathe


turn off the lamp
close your eyes
breathe in
            out
you are breathing in light
             breathing out smoke
stardust travels down your throat
                       through your lungs
                       in your blood
breathe: in
            out
all your veins and arteries
are filled with light

open your eyes

(Written 11/6/11)

--

All shall be well.

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