Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Foray into the Lion Country

"Why did you bring him?"

Amedea Lewis glared at Thaddeus from under the edge of a large straw hat and jabbed a finger in the direction of a very tall, very blonde boy wearing a royal blue guard uniform.  He was walking too far ahead of Amy and Thaddeus to hear, and besides he was looking around the countryside with great interest.

Thaddeus, garbed less ostentatiously than either of his companions, said, "Why do you ask?  I thought you liked Gunter.  Besides, we need two people with the metal elemental, and Orsolya is busy."

"I don't dislike him, but - come on, Thaddeus, you could have told him to leave off the Citadel blue.  We're trying to be subtle, and subtle that is certainly not."

"The way I figure, it's pretty obvious already that he's Kornelia Gemeinhardt's son -"

"How do you work that one out?"  Amy gave Thaddeus a withering look.  "There is no shortage of tall blonde boys as long as you're northeast of the River.  He could be some country lad if he was dressed like it, but with the Metallic Citadel written all over him like this it's all too clear who he is."

"Would you let me finish?  Look, Amy - like I was saying, he's obviously Gemeinhardt, how many blondes do you see in the Lion Country, and with the delegation from the Citadel arriving yesterday...well, Lancaster can put two and two together, we might as well be upfront about it."

Amy closed her eyes with a look of patience becoming finite and said, through gritted teeth, "Lancaster himself is blonde, Thaddeus, that argument's not going to work.  You said we would be subtle.  Gunter stands out like a sore thumb with that blue uniform.  He stands out anywhere, we could've at least tried to disguise him -"

This time Thaddeus was the one to express his exasperation.  "By the lava of Mount Arcimen, Amy, do you ever listen to me?  I never said we needed to be subtle.  Ours is an honest mission, we've got nothing to hide.  Ever heard of the story of the, what's it called, the Flame-Chicken?"

"The Firebird?  That has nothing to do with anything, Thaddeus."

"Yes it does.  The prince, he has to get stuff for some other guys, and each time he sneaks in he gets caught and is told that had he been forthright about his intentions he would have gotten the stuff without question.  We're not sneaking in there like we're ashamed of anything, Amy.  We're going to go through the front door."

Amy sighed.  "Sure, Thaddeus.  But when Lancaster throws us in the dungeons right next to the person we're supposed to be rescuing, I claim the right to say I told you so."

--

Dialogue-heavy scenes are often my weakness.  How'd I do?

Will this become part of the actual plot?  Maybe, maybe not.  Since these GW snippets are experimental, I have no idea.  Just tossing some ideas around.

But I rather think I will continue down this track a bit farther.

4 comments:

  1. Good one, pacey yet well 'unfolded': you understand the point of view of both characters, the conclusion they reach and how they get there.

    YAY for dialogues scenes (i already told you they are probably my favourite part of a story)

    keep it up!

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  2. Thank you! I like these characters and this storyline seems interesting so I'll keep working on it. :)

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  3. You underestimate yourself, my dear. Your dialogue is very natural, if you ask me.

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  4. Thanks! I talk to these characters a lot, that might have something to do with it. x)

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