Saturday, August 20, 2011

Report on the Soul

Before the first week of band camp, I wrote why I fear school will steal my soul.

With just one week of sophomore year proper down, it is too early to say, definitively, whether I will win this fight.  But I am using methods I did not use last year to ensure that school (to me a symbol of all things regular and mundane and non-magical) encroaches on my time as little as possible.

I shall:
  • Organize myself during precalc (my last, slow-paced class) for maximum efficiency.
  • Do easy (and easily concealed) homework in aforementioned last class.
  • (At home) finish as much homework as I can at my desk, away from the computer.
  • Bring only essential papers to the computer when I do go to it.

These measures do nothing to make sure I spend my time on the computer productively, but I'm working on it.  I need to.  My creative output this week has been small - I've only written for the Utopia Project once so far.

But I am keeping my soul fed.  I read two children's books - they make me feel happier and safer than YA books do.  I stood out in my yard with my cat prowling around, feeling how autumn is coming.  I reread my favorite poems and listened to my favorite songs over and over.  While doing homework at my desk I looked up and stared out the window at the trees and buildings outside.  I dream.

I am filled with these thoughts, these colors, these intangible imaginings that I long to commit to paper or screen.  I must get them out, send them into the world outside my head.  I can't afford not to.

Kept inside, they will wither away and drop, gray petals into gray soil.

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This is the second time this week I've been late on a post.  Not good, not good.  It probably will not happen again, as the circumstances leading to the delays have terminated.  My sincere apologies.

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