Friday, July 22, 2011

How Much Fairy Tale is Left for You?

Well, that depends.  Are you:

-Royalty?  Good for you, you get to go on all the adventures.  It might not turn out all that well for you, though, if you are

-An older sibling.  Since you're a lazy jerk, the third/youngest sibling is always going to win.

-Beautiful+courageous+kind?  (These traits seem to come as a 3-for-1 deal.)  Then don't worry, be happy.  You're going to suffer a lot but you'll get your happy ending.

None of the above?  Don't worry, you can also:

-Help talking animals.  They'll repay your debt with lots of interest.

-Follow instructions.  Especially if your spouse tells you not to open a door.

-Rely on magic for everything.  This is where those talking animals come in useful.

-Be careful with promises.  If you make one, keep it.  Better not to make any in the first place, though.

But most of all,

-Trick people.  Trick them for all you're worth, damnit.

And when you're sipping champagne with your prince/ss in that sparkling castle, remember to be grateful. I like dark chocolate and Ivan Bilibin illustrations, in case you're curious.

Whosoever knows from whence the title comes gets half my kingdom. *hopeful*


  1. The only things I can say are


    And that I honestly can't imagine that my little brother would ever try to overthrow me from my throne.
    Actually, my little sister's more of the monarch. I'm kind of a pushover. :P

  2. Ehhh, I felt like writing this after reading a couple of fairy tale anthologies. Guess satire's not my thing.