I'm kind of exhausted. Winter Quarter is hard, they say. I've been doing fine academically but I'm just tired most of the time.
I miss certain people: people here of whom I saw more last quarter or earlier this quarter, friends from high school, my cat. I'm preemptively missing people on my hall who will live across campus next year, and my friends who are going abroad this spring.
But things are going reasonably well this week. I finally made the time to sit down and work on Ubermadchen for an hour, and it was fantastic. The story misses me. I got to write one of those scenes today that you wait for, that you love to write, the kind of scene where the words just flow because this is a scene that you finally see and get.
I wonder what other scenes will show up that will function this way for me. I didn't plan out the Austria section in as great detail as the rest because it's at the end of the story and I was tired at that point. But I need to think of cool things to include, because writing is difficult but it should also be fun. The carefully plotted story may be easier to write but I need outlets for creative work.
Speaking of which, I've started carrying around a small sketchbook. Yesterday in ODEs the prof was reviewing matrix algebra, which I got last quarter, so I decided to draw:
|Und der Haifisch ist nie still|
|Siehst du mich?|
I think I was going for the German indie film poster look. And it is quite fun just to play around with ideas, visual cues or themes, and let it get weird. That's something that I think I have been missing--letting things get weird. Do you see a theme in my recent posts? I want to take things seriously, and so I forget to let in light and creativity.
But I need that. I need a creative outlet, and the little pockets of time when I could be wasting time on my phone I should be using to do anything creative. I'm trying to get more mileage out of my notebook. It's a process, carving out time for your creativity.
Three weeks left in the quarter: week 9, 10, and finals. I can do this, and I can bring the light with me.